Fiction, humor

By T.Wrage

I noticed her right off the bat, she was one of those types that made a guy’s knees buckle, and boy did mine cave when she came around the bend. I wanted to make my move without contemplating my annihilation that could inevitably happen. I knew if I floundered in my desires, I would never follow through.

I observed her poise and charms as she had no problem flaunting them for anyone to see. I felt captured by her eyes which were the most extraordinary eyes I had ever seen in my life. The scent of her too was aromatic and pungent; it launched my senses soaring, as I lost all sanity.

I gained my courage, and began to meander towards this incredible creature. She would never notice me under normal circumstances. But I had managed to make a name for myself, and so I thought just maybe, she might consider my proposition.

The closer I got to her the more I felt like chickening out, and then he came along. “What is he doing here? He is supposed to be on a hunting expedition, god I don’t stand a chance with him around.” I thought to myself, and then I noticed she did not seem receptive to his advances, so I crept closer towards her, slowly attempting to make my declaration known.

There he was again, his head bobbing up and down, he looked like a fool believing he was the only choice for her, what was I to do? I watched him as he stepped closer struggling to get her attention, and she gazed right over him as though he wasn’t there at all. I looked on with great satisfaction as she snubbed him, and he backed away in retreat, from her rejection.

I tried to gain composure and start again in my approach of her. Then the light went on and everyone scrambled for cover. We knew the routine and we also knew how to make ourselves scarce. I huddled in the corner waiting for the darkness to come so I could make my way back to her.

Once the light went out again, I crept slowly towards her. This time I would not back down. I will lay claim to her and in doing so, my pitiful life would not have been in vain.

I know it may seem presumptuous of me to even think I stood a chance, you have to understand it is in my nature to get what I desire and so I thought, I shall. No time like the present, as I clambered closer to her, she gazed at me right into my eyes. That was it, I was completely hers. No way was I going to crawl away from this one.

Once I reached her and brought her to ecstasy, she gave me that one incredible ‘first kiss’. I succumbed as I slowly buckled to my death. After all that is my life as a black widow spider, I say, “What a way to go!”